Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
I wondered why the tennis ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.
I really wanted a camouflage shirt, but I couldn't find one.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
A man stole a case of soap from the corner store. The police said he made a clean getaway.
Last year I made my Christmas wreath out of Franklin half dollars. I really like a wreath of Franklin.
England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na.
Two men broke into a chemist and stole all the Viagra. The police are on the lookout for two hardened criminals.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
The toilets in the police station have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
A good pun is its own reword.
Apple are to make an electric car. It will not have Windows.
I accidently swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
