A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE:
We will heel you,
We will save your sole,
We will even dye for you.
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
Dr. Jones, at your cervix.
In a Podiatrist's office:
Time wounds all heels.
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
At an Optometrist's Office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place.
On a Plumber's truck :
We repair what your husband fixed.
On another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
Invite us to your next blowout.
On an Electrician's truck:
Let us remove your shorts.
In a Non-smoking Area:
If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.
On a Maternity Room door:
Push. Push. Push.
At a Car Dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.
Outside a Muffler Shop:
No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
At the Electric Company:
We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.
In a Restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
Drive carefully. We'll wait.
At a Propane Filling Station:
Thank Heaven for little grills.
In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
Best place in town to take a leak.
And the best one for last…
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises
