A man wakes up in hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor says, ‘‘You probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pileup on the freeway. You’ll walk again and everything. However, your penis was severed and we couldn’t find it.’’
The man groans, but the doctor goes on. ‘‘You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but don’t come cheap. It’s roughly $1000 an inch.
The man perks up.
"But,’’ the doctor says, ‘‘For such a decision as this, you must consult your wife. It’s very important she plays a role in helping you work out what you both want.’’
The doctor returns next day, ‘‘Have you spoken with your wife?’’
‘‘Yes, I have,’’ says the man.
‘‘So, what is your decision?’’ asks the doctor.
‘‘We’re getting granite counter tops.’’