Bloody hell.. Our stocks & shares are crashing, we get 2% on any fixed deposits, our Superannuation is stuffed..our politicians are bickering and name-calling then looking up their back sides for things to tax/save in the next budget. With sleazy politicians like Clinton, Trump, Palmer, Shorten, Zuma, Kim Jong-un, Najib Razak, woe, woe, the world is getting poorer and its hitting the populations really hard:
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Toorak fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Germans was caught sneaking into Syria
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs,
my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the
Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I
was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
