When sorrows come...

[Dumanyu]

There is a line from Hamlet that says, "When sorrows come, they come not in single spies, but in battalions". An apt phrase when we consider the recent losses to Muckeye and Latman. Forgive me if this seems a bit nonsensical, but I am working on only about 4 hours out of the last 48 of sleep. It is only because I have got to know so many of you in the castle that I even bring this up.

Last night, my 15 year old daughter tried to take her own life, in a very gruesome way. She has been suffering from depression and seeing Psychologist and Psychiatrist, in addition to being on meds for over 2 years, but when I found her on the stairs with a towel held to her wrist, upon coming home from the grocery store, my medical training kicked in, and we got her proper medical treatment.

I cry as I type this, but there is no more helpless feeling, then a father signing papers to have your child "committed" to a psychiatric ward under suicide watch. Evidently, the pain is so great for her on the inside, that the only relief is to bring the pain to the outside.

I am not a deeply religeous man, though raised a christian. I would like to request that some of you might say a prayer for Melina, or at least a kind wish.

Respectfully,
Fred

[ElleKitty]

Prayers are the least we can do, for all of your family.  If there is anything else we can do, you have but to ask.

[Nighthawk]

My friend, I will lift up your daughter Melina to the LORD tonight in my prayers. God bless you sir.

[Dumanyu]

I thank you both. I can't sleep and I needed to release some of the pent up emotions. It helps to feel the warmth of the castle.

[AdamL]

Dumanyu, your daughter is in my prayers. I'll share something with you that I've never mentioned in a forum before; I have struggled with extreme depression my whole life. I have attempted suicide. I have also admitted myself to the psych ward 4 times. It is a very difficult thing to deal with and, to a certain extent, I know where your daughter is coming from. I will pray for her. And I hope that the people in the psych hospital where she is are as good as the ones that I've dealt with. Most important is that she has you and the rest of the family to rely on. Sometimes that is the only thing that keeps me going. Keep your head up. And, again, your daughter will be in my thoughts an prayers. I hope that opening up here about your situation can bring you some comfort.
 

[Dumanyu]

Thank you Adam, that is a courageous admission, and the fact that you (thankfully) are still in the castle does give me some hope.

[latman]

Fred, I feel for you so very deeply. I wish Melina all the love and strength she deserves and we will all be thinking of her and you.

We find solace in the strangest places, the strength and character of the people here helped me immensely.  Just to be able to 'talk' to someone who is not intimately involved helped greatly. You will not be judged here if you ask for support, for it is so important when we feel helpless to have support.

Depression and suicide have touched me deeply in the past. It will be a difficult time for you in the months ahead and there will be times when it is all so overwhelming, so consuming that you will not know what to do. Simply ask for help, from family, from friends, from here, from strangers if you have to, do what ever you have to to get through the pain. Your daughter will need all your strength, she will need to know that she is still loved, that it is not her fault and that there are so many people who are there for her.

And above all else, do not blame yourself. Depression is a very dangerous disease that can manifest in so many ways, remaining silent and dormant for so long until things build out of control. It is a disease, now she is getting treatment. You have done the right thing and she will now start to get better.

Just remember, you are not alone.

[CoinCrusader42]

Fred, life never seems to be simple.

I certainly will say a prayer for your daughter, and I certainly hope things work out well.  We have three great kids (adults now), and although they are doing well, we never stop worrying about them.

I too suffer from depression -- very intense depression.  The medication hasn't done much good, and people who haven't had it just can't understand how debilitating it can be.  I have never considered suicide, but the feelings of despair are sometimes overwhelming.  My wife thinks it all started in 2005 when I had some serious health issues.  I don't know for sure when it started, but I sure want my life back.

So, please understand that there are those of us who do understand, and sincerely feel for what you and your daughter are going through.

Here's to brighter days, for all of us!

 

[KurtS]

Fred,
My thoughts and prayers will be towards your daughter and her caregivers.

[S.George]

 

Dear Fred:

I am very sad to read your message.

Melina is like our (Castle Members) Daughter and Grand Daughter   So we share your feelings and pray that she is fine, again.

In my opinion, depression is not a diease.   I have experienced a lot of agonies and sorrows...that might have lead to depression.   It is part of every ones life.

Young Melina, will overcome this, difficult moment, in her life, slowly....with the kind care of best doctors over there.  I pray for that.

Now I request you to 'put a brave face' so that you are a good support to Laura.  Please  console Laura and be positive in your words and deeds.  I shall arrange to mass, for Melinas speedy recovery.  God  can do wonders.  God is with you.

With kind regards, Fred!

Sincerely
George

[Dumanyu]

Dear Friends,
    I thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers. I have often thought that all of my daughters have been given love and care as is within our means. I am very confused, when I think upon how much, my mother, my sister and I have had so little, growing up, and how many children today have so much more. I find it difficult to come to terms with why this depression is so prevelant in our society, and in my child. The pain is so great, but I must find solice in even the smallest ways.

    There is, if one can consider the context of all of this, one humorous part. When one of the paramedics arrived to take care of my daughter, and take us both to the hospital, his name happened to be J. Lombardo. He was not a relation, but it was very strange to find a Lombardo, tending a Lombardo. When we arrived at the hospital, there were a number of ambulance crews, there to bring their patients to the hospital. One friendly fellow, also a paramedic, and evidently a friend of J. Lombardo, said, "Hey, it's Lombardass". I smiled and asked "What did you call him?" He responded, that it was a friendly nickname for J. I told him, jokingly, that he better watch it, because now there was 3 of us.
   I witnessed him later, telling one of his colleages (sp?), that "I really stepped in it, refering to J as Lombardass, not knowing there were 3 of them". It even put a smile on Melina's face.

   A brave face, is all I have at the moment, but I think I reached Melina, when I broke down after telling her she would have to stay at the hospital in order to be well and safe when she comes home.

   I winessed, this evening, another young lady, with a similar problem, pleading with her mother to take her home, just as Melina was pleading with me for the same. I know I have to be strong for her and the rest of my family, even though It pains me, beyond measure to know she is not here with me.

[latman]

Perhaps you might like to look here as well Fred.

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?

[Yass]

Perhaps you might like to look here as well Fred.

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?

I was going to suggest the same website.  While I have never contemplated suicide, I also 'suffer' depression, and have done so for many, many years.  However, It was only diagnosed in the last two years.  All those years of bad moods were finally explained.  I was never violent, but family and staff would tread lightly when I was in one of my cranky moods.  My medication, my 'happy pills', have helped me enormously to cope with depression.

Fred, I hope that everything works out with your daughter. It will take patience and understanding, but depression is managable.

[justabeginner]

Sorry to hear this, hope everything turns out well for your family and Melina...

[latman]

In my opinion, depression is not a diease.   I have experienced a lot of agonies and sorrows...that might have lead to depression.   It is part of every ones life.

This is not correct. Where as you and I George may be able to overcome such setbacks and bounce back, others cannot. Depression, real derpression, not just feeling down, is a disease. In a healthy person, when you begin to feel depressed, your brain releases serotonin to counteract the feelings. In a person who truly suffers depression, their ability to receive this chemical from one side of the brain to the other is greatly reduced. Hence, it is a disease.

The truly great thing is the amount of research into the disease and the amount of treatment options avilable now.

[Tobyle]

Hi Fred,
I've just arrived home from work, which just so happens to be at a Child and Adolescent Mental Health Ward. I felt quite a jolt when reading your post, and really feel for you, Melina, and the rest of your family. I've seen that plea from the child to the parent wanting to be taken home, and the devastation of the parent as they have signed those papers, but I've also seen the end result when the 'young person' finally realizes that you have done that out of love. It is going to be a long, hard time for all of you, but, please don't forget to look after yourself at the moment, because you will need to keep strong to help Melina.

Many prayers and thought heading your way!
Anna

[Humpybong]

Fred, may all end up well for you and your family.

My whole family will pray for you and your daughter.

If we can do anything else for you just ask.

[tyjulie]

i hope everything works out for you and your family

[Paint Your Wagon]

My thoughts are with you and my prayers .

My father was treated with electroshocks half a dozen times and ended up being a smiling introverted shell ( late 1950's ) This was a direct result of his imprisonment in Germany as a prisoner of war .

I took 20 years to find a healer that did not put 100% of his trust in pills . I am "blessed" with a high IQ and vivid imagination .

Serotonin and the failure of neurotransmitters are the cause of pure depressions . Really tricyclic chemical compounds that take 10 days to even start working are the only viable solution for pure depressions . Any of the quick happiness drugs are selfdefeating because you become addicted and that's it
In the Tricyclic series you have to find one that works which is not easy

In the end a tricyclic and hypnosis cured me.

Not having any boss whatsoever anymore and being able to say NO to all and sundry and being selfrelient money wise and not having any pressures one cannot turn away is the basis of a good and lasting depression cure .Because it is the basis of complete freedom .
I was cured by somebody who is regularly on Belgian televison and whose speciality is curing young ones from gambling disease : hypnosis can be a real force if you trust the healer .

And now I got full spectrum daylight lamps allover my living room cause they stimulate the production of Serotonin ; my plants like them and I feel happy .

[Muckeye]

Fred, my sincere sympathy to you and your family.

I've 'been there, done, that'. (and tht's not bull s**t)

DO NOT HESITATE TO ASK US FOR HELP.

Come back to the Forum and log on, someone will be here with help or advice.
I will log on and check every 6 hours.

regards,    Muckeye.

[GregK]

Fred,

I'll certainly pray for Melina.

[EgCollector]

Fred,

I am deeply sorry for what happened, and i pray to God to guide our children and all children, to protect them from all the evil that is around them and to send them friends to help them stay on the right path ..

You and your family "specially Melina" will be in my thoughts and payer.   

[scottishmoney]

Away, dark thoughts, you autumn clouds!
A golden spring is here!
Shall it be thus in sorrow and in lamentation
That my youthful years pass away?

No, through all my tears I still shall laugh,
Sing songs despite my troubles;
Have hope despite all odds,
I want to live! Away, you sorrowful thoughts!

On this poor, indigent ground
I shall sow flowers of flowing colors;
I shall sow flowers even amidst the frost,
And water them with my bitter tears.

And from those burning tears will melt
The frozen crust, so hard and strong,
Perhaps the flowers will bloom and
Bring about for me a joyous spring.

Unto a winding, flinty mountain
Shall I bear my weighty stone,
Yet, even bearing such a crushing weight,
Will I sing a joyful song.

Throughout a lasting night of darkness
Ne'er shall I rest my own eyes,
Always searching for the guiding star,
The bright empress of the dark night skies.

I shall not allow my heart to fall sleep,
Though gloom and misery envelop me,
Despite my certain feelings
That death is beating at my breast.

Death will settle heavily on that breast,
The snow covered by a cruel haze,
But fierce shall beat my little heart,
And maybe, with its ferocity, overcome death.

Yes, I will laugh despite my tears,
I'll sing out songs amidst my misfortunes;
I'll have hope despite all odds,
I will live! Away, you sorrowful thoughts!

Lesya Ukrainka

May 2, 1890

The rest, shall be by PM.

[AdamL]

Dear Friends,
    I thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers. I have often thought that all of my daughters have been given love and care as is within our means. I am very confused, when I think upon how much, my mother, my sister and I have had so little, growing up, and how many children today have so much more. I find it difficult to come to terms with why this depression is so prevelant in our society, and in my child. The pain is so great, but I must find solice in even the smallest ways.

I know what you mean about how alot of kids have more today than previous generations. But the world is a much more complicated place now than it once was. My generation and your daughters generation have to deal with some pressure and issues that were not as common decades ago. The good news though, is that you can overcome these problems as well as clinical depression itself. I think a combination of meds and therapy is the best rout to go, along with love and support of family of course. Hopefully the people who are working with her currently can help her get on that right track. Its not easy though, and it can take time to find the right meds or right therapist. Again, I wish all the best for your whole family through what will probably be a difficult road ahead.

[Triggersmob]

Fred, my thoughts are with you and your family.
I have a child about this age and I couldn't imagine anything worse.

[Dumanyu]

    Once again, I thank you all for your kind words. The last few days have shown me what a great place we have here, and I hope the castle endures forever.

    Each day consists of 2 trips to the hospital. We never know which Lina will be there upon our arrival. Most days, we get 2 versions...
The Smart mouth, tough as nails, I'm going to be here forever, and you wanted to get rid of me version, or the I'll never do it again, please take me home version.
    My wife and I have what we call "meltdowns", where we cry and feel totally helpless. I find myself having to stop my own, because my wife has them several times a day, and I need to be strong for her, and my other 2 daughters. It's not fair, but there it is. I told Lina tonight, that my dream is that one day, she will thank me for what I have done for / to her. I fear going to work because I don't want a "meltdown" there, but will have to face it eventually. Fortunately, the few people who are aware of the situation are very understanding, and are allowing me some time to deal with it all.
    Still, I take some solace, where ever I can find it (including here in the warmth of the castle). One day this will be better. That is what keeps me going, although doubt ever lurks.
    My wife's family has a good deal of history of mental illness. Her uncle took his own life a few years back after battling with depression for years. His own daughter suffers from Pscytzophrenia (sp?), and Manic Depression. I pray that we are not repeating that history with Lina, although, so far this seems to be strictly depression. We have a meeting on Thursday with the Psychiatrist to discuss our options. They changed her medication starting today. Weaning her off of Lexapro, and starting her on Zoloft. It will be at least another week, before we see the effects of the change. Until we see how she fares with the new meds, things are at a stand still.

    I appreciate the opportunity to "vent" a bit here. May you all fare well in life.

Thank you again,

Fred

[Muckeye]

Cheers, muckeye.

[Humpybong]

Our thoughts and prayers are still with you and your family, Fred.

[Muckeye]

I'm here again Fred.
Sorry I have not kept my pormise, having 'dial-up' problems.
Will be here when I can.
regards,

[Muckeye]

Hi Fred,
I wont log in anymore but do not hesitate to ask for help.
regards,

[Dumanyu]

Just for those concerned. The psychiatrist told us that Lina doesn't present like a classic Depression case, and now thinks there is a possibility she may be Bi-polar. She starts a new medication (Abilify), is we can actually get her to take it. This morning was a bad visit, and she may be resistant to taking any new meds. If she refuses, she be there longer. We shall see.

Thanks again everybody,

[AdamL]

Just for those concerned. The psychiatrist told us that Lina doesn't present like a classic Depression case, and now thinks there is a possibility she may be Bi-polar. She starts a new medication (Abilify), is we can actually get her to take it. This morning was a bad visit, and she may be resistant to taking any new meds. If she refuses, she be there longer. We shall see.

Thanks again everybody,

I hope the meds help her. I know some bipolar people, and have read about it. Unfortunately it seems to be a little harder to deal with than regular old severe depression. I'll keep your family in my prayers.

[Muckeye]

Hi Fred, as one of the one's concerned, I hope you have some success with the new med..
I really feel for you, I'm having problems that  I never thought existed. fortunately just simple depression. (I hope)
Until a dilema hits you , you just don't realise what the other half of the world goes through.
Chin up mate. I'm thinking of you.
regards,  Muckeye.

[scottishmoney]

Wishing you the best of luck and understanding.

[Tobyle]

Fred, I hope it doesn't take long for Lina re realize the benefits of becoming compliant with her meds.
Continuing to send good wishes and prayers your way.

[Dumanyu]

     Well I am sorry to say that we have had a big setback last night. Lina had a really bad time, got very violent , punched her fist right through a wall, and is now back in the hospital. Laura and I hoped these days were past, but the sad tale continues. There is talk of putting her on Lithium and sending her to the Children's Psychiatric Center on a more permanent basis. Needless to say, I am not a huge fan of this idea, but with younger children in the house, it's serve no good purpose to continue on this course. Sorry to dump on you during the holidays, but I don't have anyone else to turn to.

Thanks for listening,

[scottishmoney]

I appreciate this is a hard time for you, but we must hope for the future.

[Pocketcoins]

My wife and I will be praying for you and your wife and kids. We will especially be praying for Lina. 

[AdamL]

I'm sorry to hear that. But I appreciate the update, because your daughter and your family have continued to be in my thoughts and prayers over these past weeks. I really feel for you and I hope things get better. Stay strong.