How do you know a woman is wearing tights?
Her knees swell up when she farts.
What's soft and slippery?
A slipper.
Standing in line behind an American woman at McDonald's. She's wearing those jeans, you know the ones with the patch on the back pocket that says " Guess".
I'm thinking 250, maybe 300 pounds.
Why did the girl bring lipstick and eye shadow to school?
She had a make-up exam!