KOTCT
Castle Courtyard => General Discussion / Questions => Topic started by: CoinCrusader42 on April 18, 2008, 10:19:47 AM
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Considering the diversity of KOTCT regarding nationality and political thought, I felt this might be of interest.
COWS!!!!!!!!
DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You a re surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have down sized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUS SIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French co w wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
:D :D :D :D
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EXCELLENT!
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ROFL!!! ;D
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Great....laughed so hard I spit my snuff all over the keyboard!
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Over here in Europe all children know that cows are blue because of the Milka adds that run on tV all the time
They also know they live in the Suisse Alps and speak 4 languages official to Switzerland and produce Milka chocolate
not milk ugh 8)
Once upon a time a firm called Monsanto had a product artificial hormone to make cows give more milk but the wicked EU people refused that product because they were allready drawning in milk and were too stupid to understand that more is better . Bovine Somatropine was also the subject of one of those alien Episodes with Agent Scully . Now of course we are all happy with genetically modified soybeans to make soybean milk
So cows are a thing of the past
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While in Brussels a couple summers back, my wife and I noticed dozens of different colored cow replicas throughout the city. We never did find out what the significance was.
:D :D :D :D
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(http://www.loughrigg.org/belgium/brxCowsThumbnail.jpg)
Brussels was home to a 'cow parade' in 2003 - hundreds of sculpted and painted cows were placed around the city. The cows were all designed by different artists, so each had its own style. Here are a couple in the park. All the cows were later auctioned off for charity.
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There is a brand of creamchease to spread on bread
La Vache qui Rit
no flemish on the box
As long as I can remember (1953 or so) these were sold with the head of a RED laughing cow
In those days however there was still a lot of freerunning cows in small meadows around so kids new cows were not red
Rare are the days I now see a life horse or a life cow
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I swear I posted in this thread before. o.o What happened to it?
I see so many live cows in fields, I've started calling them MooFlowers.
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I think farmers over here are paid NOT to produce milk and butter
At one time excess butter was deliberately degenerated by melting and the molten product was sold to Russia et al
At one time the Swisse deepfreezers were overflowing with Benelux meat
I do not follow the situation anymore but we still destroy tomatoes when they do not get the minimum guaranteed price
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Indeed I do live in Texas, Mr. OldDan. The MooFlowers happen to be some of my best neighbours. Across the road, they're always in time for dinner, they're relatively quiet especially at night, and they're never nosy. Haven't had one trespass on my front lawn yet either.
Can't say the same for some neighborhood dogs, though.