My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was
God, and I didn't
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and
suffering
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
For Sale : Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake.
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: Before
marriage and after marriage.
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Why were hurricanes usually named after women? Because when they arrive,
they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car.
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove Seemed way
too qualified for the job. 'Look Miss,' said the foreman, 'have you any
actual Experience in picking lemons?' 'Well, as a matter of fact, yes!'
she replied. Ive been divorced three times.'
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can Remove a curse he has
been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you
will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on
you.' The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and
if that happened more often? wife.'
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
Reason Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder: All the DNA is the
same.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring
the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line
pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the
cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked
sweetly, 'So which six items would you like to buy?' Wouldn't it be great
