Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
when babies wake up every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it
still called a hearing?
Why do we press harder on a remote control
when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient
funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say
there are four billion stars, but check when
you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death
by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his
chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver
at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word
"lisp"?
What is the speed of darkness?
Are there specially reserved parking spaces
for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?
If the temperature is zero outside today and
it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how
cold will it be?
If it's true that we are here to help
others, what are the others doing here?
Do married people live longer than single
ones or does it only seem longer?
Do you cry under water?
How is it that we put man on the moon before
we figured out it would be a good idea to
put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings
and then put money in binoculars to look at
things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow
and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink
whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that
chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next
thing that comes outta it's bum."
Why do toasters always have a setting so
high that could burn the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not
in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when
asking for the time, but don't
point to their bum when they ask where the
bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist
leave the room when you get undressed if
they are going to look up there anyway ?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto
remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they
dream??
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable
oil is made from vegetables, then what is
baby oil made from ?
If electricity comes from electrons, does
morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle,
Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on . . . . . . . . . .
Do illiterate people get the full effect of
Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a
dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he
sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than
once make it arrive faster?
